I was casually browsing Reddit when I stumbled upon a reference to unknown anime called Rosario + Vampire. I don’t remember where it was or what the original content was about so I can’t link you to the actual comment. Anyway, as usually, I would quickly google it to get the title, log in to Hummingbird and check its summary. Monsters, vampires, that sounds cool, let me quickly check out a review on YouTube, I thought. I found a video where a boy describes this anime as shounen anime and it’s supposed to be funny, with character development and “well drawn girls”. Apparently “well drawn girls” meant something else than high quality animation. In the same YouTube video it was mentioned that there are epic fight scenes throughout the anime as well.
With high expectations I started to watch the anime. It started off with a young boy Tsukune taking a bus to some new high school where he enrolled as a freshman. And soon after few opening scenes camera moves into midget position and follows the bus to the girls waiting on the bus station. I’ve never been a midget or walking on my knees so I’m wondering if this is what they see when they walk past mini skirts. Every girl that was waiting flashed her panties and camera moved on. I wasn’t really sure what to make off of that scene, what was supposed to be its message. I quickly forgot about it and watched on.
Soon after he arrived through that tunnel and got of the bus, he encountered Moka Akashiya. It was his first encounter with her and of course, he had to accidentally bump into her, land on her breasts and blush. At that point I was a bit worried about what kind of anime I’m watching… Anyway, I quickly forgot my doubt when she announced she’s a vampire and only the rosary on her breasts is keeping her from transforming to evil and powerful vampire. Nice, we might even see some action, I thought. We have girls with nice boobs who can fight, monsters and potentially epic fights, what can go wrong. What a fool I was.
Soon after enrollment Tsukune got into some problems and he was attacked by some random schoolmates who didn’t like him. As it goes, Tsukune was still a human and it looked like he’s going to be a punchbag for the rest of highschool. Unfortunately they forgot about Moka, who followed Tsukune and quickly came to help him. In rather funny turn of event, Tsukune removed Moka’s rosary and Moka transformed from insecure girl into badass vampire who can really kick ass. And when I say “kick ass”, I mean it literally. Almost every fight ended with Moka round-kicking the villain. After Tsukune was safe and bullies removed from the game, Moka transformed back to the insecure girl and they lived happily ever after. Until next episode that is.
Each episode was similar to the first one and I quickly lost hope I’m going to see any good fight scenes. It’s true that each episode ended with a fight but all were basically the same: Tsukune ran into some problems, Moka came to the rescue, he removed her rosary, vampire Moka kicked villain’s ass really hard and the fight was over. Really boring. But probably more important than fighting was that after each fight Tsukune and Moka became friends with the villain and they started to hang out during breaks and afternoons. Episode after episode their circle of friends were expanding. Soon they were colorful assembly of monsters: vampire, succubus, snow woman and a witch. Did I say friends? Well, it was more like an unwilling harem where Tsukune didn’t want be the harem master and girls didn’t want to share him with each other. But don’t worry, you won’t see any sex scenes in this anime, only a lot of boob and panties shots, sometimes both at the same time. The funniest character was probably the witch, who was constantly complaining how her boobs were small and asking herself when will they grow bigger.
Anime continues to unravel slowly and somewhere near end Tsukune reveals that he’s a human. He almost got burnt on the stake due to attending academy for monster as a human. Only by Moka’s intervention he was saved from certain death. After rather uninteresting fight Tsukune died and was later saved by Moka who bit him and injected with some of her blood into his body (Twilight, anybody?). At the end it got so cheesy that I had to avoid eating chocolate for several days to make sure not to overdose on sugar.
You can probably tell I didn’t really enjoy the anime, I was let down and left interested. Maybe it was just a wrong genre or maybe it was really that bad.